To be Saved and
Single means to be Celibate, Patient, Productive and Content. That is it! Until you are legally married ..you are legally unauthorized to engage in sex. You must trust God to be your match maker and trust that he knows better than you what is best for you. The You
that You will be 20 years from now, and not just the YOU of today. You should be productive, you should be busy doing YOU.. whatever that means. Get your eyes off of your biological clock ,and everyone elses portion …and go do what God has
called you to do…Or better yet find out what God has called you to do. Be content in your portion, be content in your season, be content in what God has for you .
Seek Him first, become content with spending all the time you would give to someone else with Him and let everything else happen within his will and his timing.
To be Saved, means to be intentional. Be on purpose and deliberate about your walk with God. That does not constitute perfection. That does not mean overnight transformation.
It means to die to what you always thought, and learn to live
It means to walk separately from the world, and shine differently so that the difference between the Saved and Unsaved can be visible.
It is not enough..to attend church on Sunday alone.
It is not enough to chant: “God knows my heart” whenever you feel convicted, or called
out. It is not enough to say a prayer, shed some tears and Go up during alter call.
Your true life of salvation begins after you leave the doors of the church.
(1) Can You Control Sexual
Desires? Paul is quite practical and human at this point: “But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn” (7:9). If you are single
and find that fighting sexual temptation is a daily, constant battle, then you need to pursue marriage. Paul is not saying that it is impossible for a single person to resist temptation, because he
later says that in every temptation, God provides the way of escape (1
Cor. 10:13). Every Christian can be pure in thought and deed. But if all your energy is directed toward fighting the battle of purity every day, the best solution is not more self-discipline, but
a spouse. Of course you still need self-control even as a married person. But God has given marriage as a legitimate safeguard against immorality (7:2).
you constantly lonely in spite of close relationships with the Lord and with other believers? I am going back to Genesis for this point, where we find
Adam in a perfect environment, in unbroken fellowship with his Creator, and yet God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him” (Gen.
2:18). To be lonely when you’re single is not necessarily a sign of a spiritual problem. If as a single you can reasonably control your loneliness through Christian fellowship, then you may be
able to remain single. But when I was single, in spite of some good friends, I often felt lonely. I also like kids and wanted my own children long before I got married. So I often used Genesis
2 in my prayers to the Lord!
(3) To what Ministry has God
called you? As mentioned already, if God is calling you to a place where it’s unsafe or unwise to take a family, then you should remain single. I’ve read the biographies of
C. T. Studd and other missionary greats, who left their families to take the gospel to difficult places. As I recall, Studd and his wife, who was too ill to go to Africa, were together only a couple
of weeks during her last 11 years. David Livingstone left his wife and children for years in order to pioneer in the interior of Africa. While God accomplished much good through these dedicated men,
their families suffered great harm. .
make it plain: If you do marry, it should not be for the purpose of self-centered fulfillment and personal happiness. While marriage and children are good gifts of God that bring great joy, you
should marry because you can better serve Christ in line with your spiritual gifts as a married person. The idea of getting married and settling down in suburbia with your nice home, two cars, good
job, weekend recreational hobbies, and, of course, a church for the weekends when you’re in town, is completely worldly. All Christians are to seek first God’s kingdom and righteousness. If you seek
first your own happiness, you will come up empty (Matt.
4. If you’re not gifted for celibacy, pray and look for a godly mate,
FOCUS ON PERSONAL GROWTH IN GODLINESS
use your time as a single person to sit around feeling depressed and lonely. You can waste a lot of time in a frantic search for a companion, where you fill all your spare time with being around
people. Or, you can use it to seek the Lord in His Word and in prayer. If you use your time to read and study God’s Word, to read good Christian books, to pray, and to serve the Lord in some
capacity, when God introduces you to your life partner, you will be mature enough for the responsibilities of Christian marriage. If you want a godly mate, you’ve got to become the kind of person the
kind of person you want to marry would want to marry, namely, a godly person!
NEVER CONSIDER MARRIAGE TO AN UNBELIEVER
into your thinking: It is never God’s will for a Christian to
become unequally yoked with a non-Christian in marriage (7:39; 2
Cor. 6:14-18). For some reason, it is usually Christian women who get tangled up with nice (they’re always nice!) unbelieving men, rather than the other way around. I don’t care how nice he is to
you, if he is not committed to Jesus Christ and if he is not denying self daily to follow Christ, then he’s living for self. You’re going to be miserable married to such a person. Your children will
suffer. Your devotion to Christ will be hindered. Don’t do it!
GUARD YOUR MORAL PURITY & Reputation
writes in 1
Corinthians 6:18, “Flee immorality.” Your body belongs to God, whose Spirit dwells in you. Therefore, you are to glorify God in your body (6:19-20). Paul says that even if a man gets involved
with a harlot, he becomes one flesh with her (6:16). This is more than merely a physical union. Physical intimacy, even in a so-called “one night stand,” creates the illusion of personal intimacy.
But it clouds and confuses the real issues that need to be the foundation of a Christian marriage. It creates guilt. It carries the risk of venereal disease. It defiles you and your brother or sister
in Christ. As Paul states (7:1-5), the sexual relationship is proper for marriage, but only in marriage.
If you’re going to guard your moral purity in our sex-saturated society, you’ve got to plan for it. If you visit the Grand Canyon and don’t want to fall over the edge, don’t go near the cliff. If you
want to guard your moral purity, plan not to get yourself into tempting situations.
encourage you to challenge the American dating system. If you just go along with the system, you’re flirting with danger. The dating system is designed to foster romance and to see how far you can go
physically. As Christians, you should be concerned about getting to know the person in the context of moral purity. If I may speak openly, even if you don’t intend to go all the way, any
scheming, on how you can get a date into a romantic setting to see if you can “make out,” is sin. Your purpose should be to build up your sister or brother in Christ and to get to know him or
her, not to indulge your lust. Plan for Purity!
STUDY AND DEVELOP GODLY CHARACTER QUALITIES
you’re going to shop for a new car, you’d probably do some research. And yet many Christian singles never give any thought to what qualities they should be looking for in a godly mate! I’ve seen
girls end up married to abusive men because their role models were movie stars or athletes, not men of God. If a man doesn’t show you respect, gentleness, self-sacrificing love, and other godly
traits, don’t marry him. You’re not going to transform him! Proverbs
31:30 “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” Know what you’re looking for (based upon Scripture) and pray fervently to that end!
BE WISE, BUT NOT SUPER-SPIRITUAL
I mean, God expects you to pray and wait on Him or Her, but God also expects you to use appropriate means for finding a
mate. Sometimes we get super-spiritual, thinking that God is going to rain down manna from heaven, when He expects us to plow our field and sow some seeds! There’s nothing wrong with putting yourself
in situations where you may meet a godly mate. That can include involvement with campus ministry groups, attending conferences for Christian singles, getting a job at a seminary or other Christian
even though godly character should take precedence, there’s nothing unspiritual about being physically attracted to someone. Read
the Song of Solomon and you will discover that the couple isn’t extolling the finer points of each other’s personalities! In its proper place, there’s nothing wrong with physical attraction.
don’t be so super-spiritual that you overlook liking the person. You’re looking for
a companion, and a lot of companionship involves enjoying the person’s personality. You should have some common interests and be able to enjoy just being together without having to do things. You
should be able to accept the person as he or she is, without major remodeling. Also, seek the counsel of those who know you well, especially your parents. Any strong opposition from parents
should be weighed very carefully.
5. Marriage is not Answer to all your problems; God is!
Marriage is a gracious, good gift from God. As Proverbs
31:10-12 exclaims, “An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not
evil all the days of her life.” Amen!
But at the same time, if God is not at the center of your life and your mate’s life, marriage creates more problems than it solves. Without the Lord at the center, marriage just brings together two
self-centered people seeking self-fulfillment from one another. It doesn’t work. Put God at the center of your life. Pray that He will bring you a mate with the same commitment. Then joyfully serve
Him together. Amen